Happy Father's Day Dad!

Dear Dad,

I miss you so much. Words can't even express how much I long for you to be by my side especially now. Ever since I got sick back in 2011, family Sundays with Kuya and Juliet have stopped. Well, they continued to go out but they no longer asked me to come. And now, they each have their own families to be with so it's really just me. Mom doesn't have a driver on Sundays, and we seldom go out just the two of us, most of the time it's with her friends and it's almost always to go to Resorts World.

I miss having meals with you. I miss our conversations, your jokes, your stories, your lessons. I miss how you always combed my hair and told me I was beautiful. How proud you were of us whenever we'd run into other people at the mall or wherever, and you'd introduce us and beam with pride whenever they'd tell you a compliment for us. I've been meaning to ask you this, were moms wired to criticize their children, or is it just Mom? It's just that she never really told me I was beautiful, at least not in the last decade. Whenever we're together, she always has something to say about how I look or how I dress. One time, I was telling her a story and she was looking at me intently. I thought she was listening to me, then all of a sudden she blurted out something about my messy eyebrows. She'd also pick on my (pimply) face in public, and tell me how big my hips are and how I should have a liposuction. Yes, Dad, I'm telling on her because my self-esteem really suffers whenever I'm with her. Maybe she means well. But I just wish she'd throw me a bone even once.

I miss hearing you sing in the shower, in the car, on stage. I miss the way your eyes would crinkle when you smile. I miss seeing you comb your hair and spray your perfume in front of the ornate wooden vanity. I miss waiting for you to come home late at night, giving you two kisses on the cheek, one on the lips and the tightest bear hug. That's what I miss the most, Dad. I miss hugging you.

Things are so different now. I know I might be settling down soon, and it breaks my heart knowing you won't be there to walk me down the aisle. You're the only one I want to walk me down the aisle, Dad. No one can replace you. I'm not sure if you would have liked Ronald, but one thing I can assure you is he's a very faithful member of the Church. He's been a choir member longer than I have, and he continues to perform his duty even when he's abroad. I couldn't be more proud of him, Dad. And he loves me very much. He respects me and is very patient with me. He never gave up on me even after I gave up on him. And he was there after he found out I got sick. He has never left me since. If you were alive, I think you would see it too. I'd be okay.

I miss you Dad. You were the best mother and father to us when we were all living under your roof. Those were the best four years of my family life. Thank you for showing us that it's possible to put your family first no matter how busy you are at work. I cannot say what kind of man you were, but I will never get tired of telling people what kind of father you were: the best.

I miss you Dad. The years don't lessen the pain. I am looking forward to the day when I can hug you again.

                                                                                                                                        Love, 

                                                                                                                                        Tekla