Happy Father's Day Dad!

Dear Dad,

I miss you so much. Words can't even express how much I long for you to be by my side especially now. Ever since I got sick back in 2011, family Sundays with Kuya and Juliet have stopped. Well, they continued to go out but they no longer asked me to come. And now, they each have their own families to be with so it's really just me. Mom doesn't have a driver on Sundays, and we seldom go out just the two of us, most of the time it's with her friends and it's almost always to go to Resorts World.

I miss having meals with you. I miss our conversations, your jokes, your stories, your lessons. I miss how you always combed my hair and told me I was beautiful. How proud you were of us whenever we'd run into other people at the mall or wherever, and you'd introduce us and beam with pride whenever they'd tell you a compliment for us. I've been meaning to ask you this, were moms wired to criticize their children, or is it just Mom? It's just that she never really told me I was beautiful, at least not in the last decade. Whenever we're together, she always has something to say about how I look or how I dress. One time, I was telling her a story and she was looking at me intently. I thought she was listening to me, then all of a sudden she blurted out something about my messy eyebrows. She'd also pick on my (pimply) face in public, and tell me how big my hips are and how I should have a liposuction. Yes, Dad, I'm telling on her because my self-esteem really suffers whenever I'm with her. Maybe she means well. But I just wish she'd throw me a bone even once.

I miss hearing you sing in the shower, in the car, on stage. I miss the way your eyes would crinkle when you smile. I miss seeing you comb your hair and spray your perfume in front of the ornate wooden vanity. I miss waiting for you to come home late at night, giving you two kisses on the cheek, one on the lips and the tightest bear hug. That's what I miss the most, Dad. I miss hugging you.

Things are so different now. I know I might be settling down soon, and it breaks my heart knowing you won't be there to walk me down the aisle. You're the only one I want to walk me down the aisle, Dad. No one can replace you. I'm not sure if you would have liked Ronald, but one thing I can assure you is he's a very faithful member of the Church. He's been a choir member longer than I have, and he continues to perform his duty even when he's abroad. I couldn't be more proud of him, Dad. And he loves me very much. He respects me and is very patient with me. He never gave up on me even after I gave up on him. And he was there after he found out I got sick. He has never left me since. If you were alive, I think you would see it too. I'd be okay.

I miss you Dad. You were the best mother and father to us when we were all living under your roof. Those were the best four years of my family life. Thank you for showing us that it's possible to put your family first no matter how busy you are at work. I cannot say what kind of man you were, but I will never get tired of telling people what kind of father you were: the best.

I miss you Dad. The years don't lessen the pain. I am looking forward to the day when I can hug you again.

                                                                                                                                        Love, 

                                                                                                                                        Tekla

Home Bites: Banana Bread

I baked my first banana bread from scratch today. I've baked brownies and banana bread before, but I always used boxed mixes. After attending a baking class last month, I found out it wasn't that hard to bake from scratch. But the recipes we did called for an electric mixer, so I was hesitant to try them out at home.

While browsing for recipes online, I came across Panlasang Pinoy, which has a simple recipe for banana bread that didn't require a mixer. He even had a video demo for it.

Last weekend I bought the ingredients and was planning to bake on Sunday night. But my laziness got the best of me so it was put on hold. Then this week, we had an unexpected death in the family. My aunt died of acute appendicitis.

I'm only on my second week at my new job so I'm still adjusting. It's been sad and stressful so I decided to make use of the holiday to bake the bad vibes away!

Here's the Banana Bread recipe from Panlasang Pinoy:

1 cup banana, mashed (I used five small lakatan bananas)
1 cup sugar (I used Muscovado)
2 pieces raw eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla essence
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda

I mixed the dry ingredients first: flour, sugar, salt and baking soda. Then I added the wet ingredients: eggs, mashed bananas, vegetable oil, and vanilla extract. I whisked everything together to form a batter. I made sure there were no large banana chunks. I transferred the batter to a greased 9" x 5" x 2.5" loaf pan.

My oven uses Celcius so I preheated it at 170 degrees (350 degrees Farenheit). I set the timer for an hour and watched Kell on Earth on my laptop.

Tick tock tick tock.

The smell of baking banana bread wafted around my small studio. I had to stop watching my TV show for a second and just indulge in that comforting smell. The combination of banana and vanilla smells amazing. I couldn't wait to see the finished product.

Ta-dah!

The edges were a bit burned but other than that, I think I did well. I give myself 3/5 stars hehe. The bread came out darker because of the Muscovado, but it was moist and soft. It reminded me of the banana bread from Edsa Shangri-La's The Bakeshop (not the taste, okay, just the appearance hehe). My uncle used to be their head of security and he would always buy me a loaf. This has been one of my favorite comfort foods (along with Good Shepherd's ube jam, Heat's pudding, and mac & cheese).

Maybe next time I'll add some walnuts and use white sugar, just to see the difference. This is a really easy recipe, perfect for a beginner like me. I can't wait to bake some more!

P.S. If you have tips on how not to burn the edges, please hit the comment section. Should I adjust my tray in the oven?

UPDATE: 

My second and third batches were much better! I added walnuts, used white sugar instead of Muscovado, and used rock salt instead of iodized salt. I also found out that the reason the edges were burnt because I used butter to grease my pan which is a no-no! Here are photos of my second try:

Everyone liked it! Jay, my officemates, my sister-in-law, even my Mom! I'm so happy. :)

Watch This Space!

Hello! This week I've been back from my vacation and also started on my new job. I have a lot of backlog entries I want to write (travel bits and resto bites), but I can't seem to find the drive to do so.

I really need to work on my writing schedule and discipline. One of the reasons I set up this blog is so I can get my groove going, get used to writing feature pieces again before I go back to contributing for magazines. I don't want to put myself out there after being gone for more than a year.

I recently finished reading Stephen King's memoir On Writing, and the book has a lot of useful tips I can use. I just really need to follow through and commit to writing more. Right now, eating and reading take up my time when I'm done with work and church duties.

But check my space once in while, okay? You never know, I just might have a writing marathon and finish a lot of entries in one go! :)